Why we're all liars, and how to be the Truth.
Why r we like dis?
We all lie...AND there’s nothing good or bad; right or wrong about it. It just is what it is.
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A common place where lying shows up is when we speak about our lives in generalities.
Life doesn’t happen in general; it happens in specific—during precise events in time that have a impact.
Have you ever genuinely asked someone how they’re doing and they answer super vaguely, speak in metaphors, or cryptically refer to what they’re dealing with?
“Oh, I’m all right. I’m just in the depths, doing what I gotta do, kind of upset about this pattern that continues to show up, but I’m on the brink of emerging.” Say what?
That’s patently inauthentic: that statement above is not saying anything. Point to the “depths.” Show me this “brink.”
Inauthenticity is a form of lying.
And it’s just normal and ordinary human behavior; no judgment. When I recognize I’ve done that, I catch myself and deliberately choose to get a little more real, even if it’s a basic share about one aspect of my current experience.
Speak directly. “I’m upset because I took on this job that I thought I would enjoy, but it’s draining me and I feel like I’m going to die. I’ve made my exit plan, though, and I know what my next best move is, career-wise.” Zing!
Straight talk is refreshing. Now somebody can actually get to know what’s really occurring in your world, and that promotes actual connection beyond the basic platitude response of “I’m good, and you?” Quit lying.
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The problem with speaking in generalities is that it prevents true connection, affinity, intimacy, and potential support if needed. No one can see you if you talk in code.
Any breakdown can be instantly disappeared by speaking on it.
Any upset can be instantly cleared through authentic communication.
Any recurring unwanted patterns can be dissolved by having a conversation about them.
It doesn’t have to be an emotional dump, however, and we always want to avoid speaking from victim mode, since we each are cause in the matter of our lives.
We can share what’s going on with us FROM a stand of responsibility—not from needing to be saved, but just acknowledging what is so.
When we do that, our willingness to be real opens up a new realm of possibility, because language is creation, and communication is our access to power.
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Share yourself with the people in your world. It doesn’t have to always be a high-stakes encounter nor a sob story, either.
As with all things in life, authentic sharing is a practice and a type of musculature to be developed. If you’re out and about and someone asks how you’re doing, you can start by sharing even just a simple anecdote about something that occurred in your day.
All relationships are assignments, however long or briefly you’re with somebody.
BE with people.
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We think we have many problems but it’s only one: the sense of separation.
And when we act like we’re all One with everybody we encounter, then we can truly feel it, too. 💎
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Have you noticed yourself or others tawk in code when asked “how you doin?” What do you do?
How can you create genuine affinity and deeper connection with others by keeping it real?
Want some coaching on how to be more self-expressed? Let’s have a conversation about your life, love + relationships. Book a Venus Talks consultation session with me today, and let’s disappear the nonsense!
#loveisfree 💘